Sunday morning,
smoking gun.
We send the babies
out with the water.

Isaiah,
I have lost the
faith, my brother
I am open.
I can't live without

strangers kindness.
I don't care, anymore
Too many promises.
Too many losses.
Ditch the money

Isaiah,
for you have lost the
faith, my brother
are you open?
You will not live without.


You will not live without.
You will not live without.

We have sailed a sea of change together,
as we each meet the end:

empty shells and
broken plates, we've got
generations,
past regrets.

Isaiah,
for we have lost the
faith, my brother
shall we open?
I cannot live without.

I cannot live without.

We have sailed a sea of change together.
I will see you as we meet our fates.
We have sailed a sea of change in arms together...

Our father,
heaven's gates
rise up.

beach. five days.

see yuz sundee.

sometimes it is very difficult to articulate the things that most need to be expressed. but that's not a problem. because sooner or later, i always get it and it takes the form of a finished piece of shit or the sense of assurance i get from being able to move on to something else. but some things i can't write about. so i'm sitting at my computer, looking through my collection for the most depressing music that i can find. i'm listening to a song called hellbent by an artist named Kenna. it's amusing because this is the first song that ever evoked any sort of real emotion for me. so it's a very nostalgic creature, i remember seeing the video for it in the seventh grade and... i owe this artist a lot. if not for him i'd still be listening to linkin' park. being at his message boards introduced me to radiohead, which got me into everything else. but it's right that this feels so nostalgic, because this stuff that i feel now has been a fear that i've had for as long as i can remember. as long as i've gone to school anyway. there are a few solutions i think. i don't know. maybe.

i'm considering not posting this because it feels so very stupid. i'm very tired though so i don't care as much as i will. shit. the song "lucky" is very nice.

"Lucky"

I'm on a roll this time. I feel my luck could change.
Kill my Sarah, kill me again with love.
It's gonna be a glorious day.

Pull me out of the aircrash.
Pull me out of the lake.
I'm your superhero,
When you're standing on the edge.

The head of state has called for me by name,
but I don't have time for him. It's gonna be a glorious day.
I feel my luck could change.

Pull me out of the aircrash.
Pull me out of the lake.
I'm your superhero,
When you're standing on the edge.

When you're standing on the edge.

- oh take a fucking guess.

Cause = Time

You come in, check my time
You got fornication crimes
I've seen your hope on television
Where you've been, wore my word
They've got tricycles in skirts
This is a mouth that needs religion

And they all want to love the cause
'Cause they all need to be the cause
They all want to fuck the cause

So take me down, down through this
Kill the common law that missed
This is the blood I love to share

Little pistols and companion halls
Desperation tentacles
I've been alone since '89

We've got a menstruating disguise
Then know three completes the five
This is a church that should believe

And they all want to free the cause
'Cause they all need to dream a cause
They all need to be a cause

You've got all and it's
Pretty good but I
Seem to be in disbelief

You come in, check my time
You've got fornication crimes
I've seen your death on television
Cue immortal child like times
Separation is divine
Here is a strike beneath your knees

And they all want to love the cause
'Cause they all need to be the cause
They all want to fuck the cause

Take me down, down through this
Kill the white within the bliss
Here is a waiting room
That wants to save your life

And they all want to love the cause
They all need to be the cause
They all want to dream a cause
They all need to fuck the cause

- Broken Social Scene

hey check out my good buddy derick's website.

that whole line was a link.

and so was that one...

unoriginal i know, and big thanks to Hrogndzeln for the idea/help. but anyways...

FAMOUS NUDES BLOG. WOO!

The View - Modest Mouse

Your gun went off.
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you.
My mouth runs on too.
Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue.
Life it rents us.
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you.
Well I hope mine did too.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
then I feel pretty blissfully.

We are fixed right where we stand.

For every invention made how much time did we save?
We're not much farther than we were in the cave.

If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.

For every good deed done there is a crime committed.
We are fixed.
For every step ahead we could have just been seated.
We are fixed.

We are fixed.
We are fixed.
We are fixed right where we stand.

down there.



oh yeah.

i just got kid a. which is preposterous because i've been a huge radiohead fan for years now but i'd never really listened to all of what's probably their most controversial album. for the record, it wasn't controversial because of sex or violence, but rather it's overall form which no one could really decide as being horrible or masterful. and also, if you've listened to one or two of the songs off of that album it's nothing like listening to the whole thing, the sum is an infinity beyond any of its parts. well anyway, it was an experience to say the least. it's the kind of thing that's hypnotic but as you blink in and out of consciousness you find yourself either holding onto something for dear life, or arching your back as every hair on your body stands straight up, or grimacing in anger, or coming as close to tears as you've been since elementary school... it was an experience to say the least.

ok i just got back from maryland yesterday, we went up to see my grandma after her birthday. that was fun, i ended up watching "Kill Bill Volume 1" and "Gothika" with her, she didn't really like them but she was cool about it. i think she secretly sort of enjoyed Kill Bill. probably not though.

yesterday was also an amazing band practice. i had to wake up at five to get my family out the door and on the road from MD early enough to make it, but i did. it was inspired it was. it was all five of us for the first time and i think we've finished two songs completely (Cunt, and Now is Not the Season for Good Television). but yeah, it worked out nicely. tre and jackson proved the insane amount of endurance they both have as eric, sean and i messed with eric's computer, and eric proved how much of an asshole slave driver he can be which was somewhat compforting. sean came up with some great bass lines and jackson's drumming was pretty much perfect. i couldn't do a hell of a lot of singing cause the mic was kind of screwy. and man if i ever get any money i'm getting my sorry ass a PA system.

i'm listening to blur right now, they're pretty freaking amazing. people kind of forgot about them after the late nineties when they released their hude single "Song 2" (i.e. "woo hoo"). but they still make incredibly...strong songs. like they have really weird and cool production, because half the time it's just designed to fuck the song up as much as possible, but they have this really quality song-writing ability that can shine through the (intentionally i think) worst of their playing and the fuzziest effects and the most unenthused or overenthused delivery. preeeeeetty coooooool.

oh and mighty mouse, the dismemberment plan, and bumblebeez 81. they're pretty awesome too.

there's a girl named megan who stumbled across my blog while in search of someone to ask about ncssm.

the idea of someone stumbling across my blog is now sort of strange, i'm thinking maybe i'll go edit some stuff.

hi megan!

well thank you nate/hannah

Robert, your subconscious mind is driven most by Sexuality

The world is a sexy place for you, your erotic self leads the way. Whether this is because you're presently in a great physical relationship or simply want one, you are much more aware of the sexual undertones in situations than most people. This heightened focus, coupled with your vivid imagination, can make you more likely to have original at times risque interpretations of things that other people might see as innocuous. Your subconscious is telling you that you are very much alive, and have a great deal of passion to bring to life.

i guess this what i get for putting the word penis as the answer to every question on the inkblot quiz.

my skinny fingers lined with magic dust.
you asked me if i needed your help.
i laughed at the thought.
i would not sweep into the arms of you.

this is how i've made my millions.

and the stars may set tonight,
will you open up your arms
and test to set your soul by me?

this is how i've made my millions.
this is how i've made my millions.

i do not keep into the arms of you.
oh my savior, tell me what you do.

this is how i've made my millions.